I am just going to tell you right now that I am not a pediatrician, therapist, or the parent to your child(ren), so please know that the thoughts and opinions on this page are my own. I share because I care.
Today I want to write about education; educating boys to understand the menstrual cycle. We need girls to understand their bodies, but we also need our boys to understand what the heck is going on with the women in their lives. Sometimes we (the female of the species) can be a little…special.
From the get-go, I used the proper terminology for body parts with my kids; penis, vagina, breasts. It makes it a little easier to discuss bigger topics as they get older. Also, as I have learned from child abuse discussions, seminars, and people on the front lines, this little bit of knowledge helps your child understand their body and body autonomy better. If, God forbid, anything inappropriate does happen to your child or a child you are close to, knowing the proper names of body parts will be crucial in helping them talk about what happened. We want to take away the aspect of shame.
So, my kids know the right names, and at about age 8 or 9, my oldest asked about periods. I told her about all the fun associated with that extra “x” chromosome. Her response: “Ugh, this is why I would rather be an owl!” Same, kid. Same. The sex talk came soon after, as she went through my anatomy and physiology textbook. I asked if she had any questions. She did. I told her the basics. She looked disgusted. She went back to her room to process it all, and I had a glass of wine.
It was different with my youngest. He has always seen packages of pads and tampons in the bathroom. He never seemed to care. I did not push the mysteries of female biology or the sex talk on him for a while because he was simply not ready. I truly believe in meeting kids where they are at. There is not one definitive age to have all these discussions. What can they handle? Do they seem curious? If signs of puberty are starting to blossom, you may want to start edging the conversation a certain way. Ultimately, you know your child. You want them to be strengthened by knowledge, and YOU want to be the person who imparts this knowledge. Trust me, there is a line of goofy boys and girls who are ready and willing to “educate” your child on sex and the human body. Lord, help us!
Anyway, I would like to see more boys and men involved with helping out the girls and women in their lives. If more young men understood the whole process of the menstrual cycle, then less young women would have to be embarrassed or ashamed during their periods. If an accident happens or someone’s period makes a surprise visit, I would love to see a whole crew of people band together to be helpful. I have offered up the idea to my son (who is going to be in middle school in just a week!) that I think it would be cool if he kept an extra pad or two in his backpack. I am not going to push him. I want him to be comfortable with the whole idea. This first year of middle school is going to be crazy enough, so we will take everything day by day.
One day, though, I envision a movement: #boyswillbegentlemen #boyscarrypads.
Be kind. Be helpful. Be love.
Paula
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